Helping Others without Sacrificing your Loved Ones

First and foremost, we should never feel obligated to help someone. Feeling urged to help someone should be truly from the heart. However, we should consider our loved ones (if applicable), when there is a possibility they might be effected by the gesture.

Do we concern ourselves with the recipient’s details or circumstances prior to helping them? I believe the answer is a resounding YES. It's smart to prepare yourself for any consequences.

OxyMORONs? Do it TRUE!

We are human beings who are driven by our emotions. Human weakness and mistakes are elemental. However, it’s important that we see and hear ourselves in a manner in which we can learn and grow. Because, in most cases past performance dictates future behavior.

Pay close attention to the following:

A good wife and mother whose husband is a good man and father. Yet, they were both unfaithful during their 30 year marriage.


A woman has chosen to refrain from using chemical products in her hair, and from consuming alcoholic beverages. Yet, she chooses to co-habit with her boyfriend, and regularly engage in sexual intercourse. Although, making health conscious choices are commendable, unprotected sexual intercourse is another choice that has been proven to be deadly.


A man nearly forty years old has finally found the woman of his dreams. He calls her his Goddess and his Queen. Yet, he jokingly calls her a Bitch and a Slut at times, because she condones it.

Women

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

-- Denis Waitley

A friend shared with me that a close friend of hers was getting a divorce. The husband was actually filing for a divorce. Before her friend met him she was fun, outgoing, energetic, charismatic, and everyone loved being around her. She married the guy and he changed her into just the opposite and of course she let him, because she was blinded by her love for him and lost site of who she was. In my opinion, she became who he wanted her to be then he got bored, because he had nothing else to complain about, since she was doing everything he wanted her to do. Now, he's done with her...you see, he became bored with his puppet.


"If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price."

-- Author Unknown

How would you judge a man out on a first date, who pays for dinner with a two for one coupon?

Men

"The first test of a truly great man is his humility."

-- Ruskin

To all fathers out there, below you'll find the first two questions you should ask a man who is seeking your permission to marry his daughter.

1. Are you a man of good character where women are concerned?

2. What's your relationship with the women in your life?

Stand up to Bullies

Fighting back was the only option.

It wasn’t easy growing up in the Ickes; in Chicago's Housing Authority better known as "The Projects." Growing up in an environment where the element dictates survival of the fittest.

Domestic abuse, drug abuse, rape, street fights were not uncommon. Bullying was the norm, and fighting back, win or lose dictated future treatment by bullies.

Most bullies are grief stricken, and looking for someone to pay for their misery. So, it's no surprise in every single grade level, especially 1st through 8th, we fight to prove ourselves, over and over again.

Living amongst all that dysfunction, I never thought once about making a hole in the lake. Suicide was not an option. The truth is, standing up for yourself could build character.

Quotations to Live By

"Our power is in our ability to decide."
-- Buckminster Fuller

 "A good criterion for measuring success in life is the number of people you have made happy."
-- Robert J. Lumsden

"The people that get on in this world are the people that get up and look for the circumstances that they want; and if they can't find them, they make them."
-- George Bernard Shaw

"You always pass failure on the way to success."

-- Mickey Rooney

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."

-- Beverly Sills

"For it matters not how small the beginning may seem to be. What is once well done, is well done forever."

-- Henry David Thoreau

"Some men see things the way they are and ask, "Why?" I dream things that never were, and ask "Why not?""

-- George Bernard Shaw

"In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity."

-- Albert Einstein

"The formula for peace of mind is simple: Don't worry about anything -- pray about everything."

-- Author Unknown

 

"Success is achieved by those who try and keep trying with a positive mental attitude."

-- W. Clement Stone

 

"A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline."
-- Harvey MacKay

"Who told you it couldn't be done? And what great achievement has he to his credit that entitles him to use the word 'impossible' so freely?"

-- Napoleon Hill

"Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved."
-- William Jennings Bryan

"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow."

-- Ronald E. Osborn

"If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down."

-- Mary Pickford

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."

-- T.S. Eliot

"To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom."

-- Bertrand Russell

"The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry, live simply, expect little, give much."

-- Barney O'Lavin

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently."

-- Henry Ford

"If you have no critics you'll likely have no success."

-- Malcolm Forbes
 

"Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success."

-- Dale Carnegie

"The difficulties and struggles of today are but the price we must pay for the accomplishments and victories of tomorrow."

-- William Boetcker

"Because it hasn't been done before, doesn't mean it can't be done. Those who are afraid to make a mistake will never make a significant achievement."

-- Ted Hood

"There is no one giant step that does it. It's a lot of little steps."

-- Peter A. Cohen

"Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend you energies on moving forward toward finding the answer."

-- Denis Waitley

"What we hope to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence."

-- Samuel Johnson

"You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give."

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Your success and happiness lie in you."

-- Helen Keller

"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going!"

-- Jim Rohn

"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."

-- Marie Curie

"I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature."

-- John D. Rockefeller
 

"When you're going through hell, keep going."

-- Albert Einstein

"It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop."

-- Wisdom of Confucius

"You are what you are because of the conscious and subconscious choices you have made."
-- Barbara Hall

Date Rape

"Our power is in our ability to decide."
-- Buckminster Fuller

A young woman found herself in a precarious situation where she was forced to make a crucial decision. While entertaining a male friend, he decided to make a cowardly move to take full advantage of their solitude. Before she knew it, he quickly ripped her dress and began to strangle her while threatening to rape her.

His strength was undeniable, her eyes felt as if they were bulging. During her agony, she began to peruse the immediate area for an object that could be used for protection. She noticed a lamp, and in a desperate attempt she became compliant momentarily. She was able to get his attention briefly, to let him know she would submit. The second he released her, she quickly grabbed the lamp and began swinging it violently and hitting him on the head several times. He ran out of the apartment defeated.

The element of surprise can be a real disappointment during violent encounters. It enables the perpetrator to gain advantage over you.

Unfortunately, we might not be able to control the beginning of this violent act, but it might be possible to OWN the outcome. Refuse to be a VICTIM!

 

Kiss & Tell...A Woman Scorned

"If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price."

-- Author Unknown

I promised him no strings attached, yet I was falling hard for this married man. When I felt he was trying to end our affair, I took desperate measures to ensure our relationship didn't end. I was hopeful that there might be a chance for me to have a good man in my life, and for my sons to have a good man as a mentor. So I called his wife at work, she picked up and I whispered, "Your husband's cheating," then I hung up.

This was the beginning of the end. Needless to say, he's still with his wife. In one of many incensed conversations with his wife, I shamefully told her, "I knew he was married, but I was getting what I could, while I could." His wife fired back by telling me, "as a woman, with that attitude I should be ashamed, and as a mother I should feel disgraced. At that point, I felt her pity for me. The realization of never being able to settle down with a man as suitable as hers, made me feel alone and ashamed.

Skype to Literacy

A grandmother survived 77 years without knowing how to read. The grandchildren tried to help her, but her patience wore thin. Although, she couldn't read, she was a good business woman. She was the only woman I knew who could turn a dime into a dollar.

If you know of someone struggling with reading think about using Skype www.skype.com as a resource to help tutor. It's safe and private.

Sarah Elaine Eaton, Ph.D. is making a difference:

http://www.springinstitute.org/Files/howtouseskypeforlanguageteachingandliteracyspdf.pdf

 

Smarties or Dum Dums?

A co-worker was sharing her ideas on how to encourage children to learn by creating t-shirts with a slogan "Are you a Smartie or a Dum Dum?" The t-shirts were printed with images of the candy. Is it really that simple? Most children are not given the opportunity to express their true interests with the current curriculum. Our children tend to excel once they are given the opportunity to do what it is they love.

Case and point, I was impressed with an interview Barbara Walters conducted with our former, Joint Chiefs of Staff, Colin Powell in September 2004 on The View.

Colin Powell, as a young kid grew up in the Bronx, son of an immigrant family that came from Jamaica with nothing but their hopes and dreams. His friends didn't think he would get a job in anything. They all thought he was so directionless. He was a poor student even in college, but while attending college at age 17 or thereabouts, still without direction and not going anywhere particularly. He saw ROTC cadets walking around the campus, which peaked his interest, so he joined ROTC. The military experience gave him a sense of purpose and a group to be with, and that became his life's work, being a professional soldier.

Mr. Powell indicated, "the truth is, we don't know where we're going to end up. We all know that's not the way life is. You just move ahead, prepare yourself, work hard, believe in yourself, believe in this wonderful country, believe that you can do anything that you put your heart to and your mind to, and you're willing to work for."

Also, Mr. Powell emphasized, "those of us who have been successful have an obligation, a responsibility to help these kids, to mentor them, to give them safe places in which to grow up and to find themselves. We need to give them a healthy start in life. We have to give them the skills they need to be successful in a demanding world. Lastly, we need to give them is a sense of service, to teach them that early in life, they have to serve others, and build it into them so that when they become adults, in addition to being successful adults, they're also serving adults and giving back.”

I have two questions for my co-worker; number one, is a straight “A” student destined for greatness?, and number two, is a poor student destined for failure? Every child has a passion or dream, it’s our responsibility to help them determine their interests and to support them 100%. Parents kill more dreams than anybody. -- Spike Lee  Don't be a dream killer! 

Laugh Out Loud

When our daughter was 18 years old, she tested us once by staying out all night with a friend. Upon returning home, she found the door secured to avoid entry. She cried, "If we were throwing her out, then she would need $5,000 to get started on her own."
 

Sometimes when our children are begging us to purchase something they don't need, we simply tell them that we don't have any money. Well, one particular time we were told us to BUY some money. My six-year-old daughter thought we went to the ATM to buy money.

Don't Talk! Show Us What Love Is!

Being married for 30 years and not being able to remember the last time you asked your husband to leave the toilet seat down.


A husband volunteering to have a medical procedure as a form of birth control, so his wife doesn't have to be subjected to six to eight weeks of discomfort.

Exercise

If you're currently weight challenged, and on a weight loss mission, there are two songs that would be perfect for your journey. I now call them my anthems; I Am Changing by Jennifer Holliday, and Just Fine by Mary J. Blige.

The lyrics to; I Am Changing, "Look are me, look at me, I am changing, trying every way I can, I am changing, I'll be better than I am. I'm trying to find a way to understand, but I need you, I need you, I need a hand", words to feed your soul and they are right on point for the mission to get you to the lyrics to; Just Fine, "So I like what I see when I'm walking past the mirror."
Use a free calorie counter www.myfitnesspal.com to aid you in your progress. Good luck on your mission to lead a healthier life. God Bless!